


The World's Largest Ball of Twine

by Ireallyenjoyforgetting



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Character, Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Character, Gen, Lesbian Character, Road Trips, Roadside Attractions, no beta we die like men, the worlds largest ball of string not twine, too many road snacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29806461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ireallyenjoyforgetting/pseuds/Ireallyenjoyforgetting
Summary: A year after the Battle of Hogwarts, Pansy captures her three best-snakes and shoves them all into a car for a trip across America. She really wants to see the world's largest ball of twine.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11
Collections: You're My Best Friend





	The World's Largest Ball of Twine

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [DA_Friendship](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DA_Friendship) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Coming out
> 
> As ever, thank you to the host for all the work that goes on behind the scenes of these lovely competitions. The world needs more friendship in it after all. 
> 
> *I don't own these characters, and any mistakes are entirely my own

“Why are we going the muggle way again? This is the woooooooorrrrrrrst,” Theo moaned from the backseat of the rented sedan. 

“Because it’s fun,” Pansy deadpanned from the front seat, not glancing up from the issue of Vogue she was immersed in.

“But there’s nothing to dooooooooo,” Theo said.

Pansy whipped around in her seat and pointed her wand directly in his face. Theo’s eyes went wide as he saw the anger rise in one of his best friends. 

“If I hear one more word of complaint from you,  _ Theodore _ , I will hex you right here. And Merlin be damned if that causes the car to break down like it did in Texas. Because that will be  _ your _ fault for  _ baiting _ me.” Without removing her gaze from him, Pansy steadily lowered the angle of her wand to point directly to Theo’s groin. Hands up in placation, Theo sat back in his seat and pulled his knees up to protect the more vulnerable parts of his body.

Pansy narrowed her eyes briefly, then her face lit in a cheerful smile and she returned to face the road ahead of them. She moved the bags of snacks and magazines aside beneath her feet to find the road-map she had thoroughly marked before their trip.

“So, there’s supposed to be a very large ball of twine up ahead at some point. And the next item on the list is...hmm. I believe someplace past that there’s some sort of AngelLand or something. Some kind of pop star’s home.”

“String.” A bored voice drawled from behind the steering wheel.

“What are you on about, Draco?” Blaise piped up from behind him.

“It’s string. Not twine,” he reached a long finger across the space and pointed to the point in Missouri marked with a circular scribble that looked vaguely like a ball of string. Never taking his eyes off the road, he resumed his comfortable driving-slouch and flicked through the radio stations currently available in the arse end of nowhere.

Pansy peered down at the map again and let out a small “huh” before getting distracted by another doodle that led her to unfold the entire map, taking over her seat and half of Draco’s. Draco swatted the map out of his face and reached underneath it to grab his ever-hot cup of coffee from beside the gear-shift.

“Pansy…” Draco allowed the word to hang in the air between them.

“What?” she muttered as she continued to trace roads with a red marker and draw little doodles on it while consulting a book balanced on one leg. A violently green sugar quill stuck out of her mouth as she juggled marker, self-inking quill and a cigarette precariously in her other hand as she alternated between them.

“When are we going to talk about why you dragged us all on this adventure of yours?” 

Pansy’s drawing hand hovered above the road she had been about to mark, though her eyes remained cast down. 

“I - I just wanted to take a trip with all of you before we move on to whatever it is we have to do next,” she hedged.

“Bollocks!” Theo scoffed from behind her. Pansy turned to glare at him and Theo scrunched his knees in front of him again, pointing over at Blaise as though blaming the other occupant of the backseat for the remark.

“Pansy. Be a dear and say whatever it is you needed our undivided attention for before you hex  _ his  _ bollocks off,” Blaise jerked his head toward the cowering boy beside him. He rolled his eyes and uncrossed his long legs before leaning his hand across the seatback and patting his friend, patronising.

  
  


Pansy methodically folded the map before her, taking slightly more time than absolutely necessary. When she finished, and had nothing in her hands but a fresh cigarette, she leaned into the door and watched the fields pass and she took a couple drags. She continued to look out the window as she drew a fortifying breath in.

“I...I just wanted to tell you all,” she took another slow drag of her cigarette, watching the smoke stream through the window as she gathered her courage. “Well, I’m gay.”

She lifted her chin defiantly and looked into the rear-view mirror to watch for their reactions.

Blaise and Theo exchanged a glance, Theo’s brow was furrowed in confusion, but neither spoke.

Draco angled his body toward her and cocked a condescending eyebrow.

“Is that all?” he asked flatly.

Pansy pulled back, blinking. Then she jutted her chin out and reached across the console to slap Draco on the leg. He winced away from her.

“Oi, woman! So violent. I  _ am _ driving here, if you hadn’t noticed,” he smirked at the fuming witch. “Now. Any more revelations to unload on us, or  _ is that all _ ?”

“Draco, this is  _ serious _ !” she glared at him.

“Nah, that’s my cousin,” he deadpanned. Behind them, Theo and Blaise snickered until Pansy turned around, her wand bobbing back and forth between the two. 

The two innocently eyed her and pointed back up to Draco, laying the blame squarely on his shoulders. 

Draco smiled, his voice softer than before, “Pans, it’s alright. We know. We’ve known for years.”

Pansy lowered her wand to her lap again where she twirled it between her fingers.

“I just...I wasn’t sure what you’d say. And I...I needed to say it...out loud.”

“What did you think we’d say Pans? That we’d swear you off? You’re clearly too queer for this group,” Blaise said sarcastically. 

“Well, I wasn’t sure…” she trailed, still playing with the wand in her lap.

“I think you’ve let that voice in your head that sounds like your mother get a bit too much of your attention, love,” Draco said. “Really, you’ve known I was in love with Potter since, what? Second year? Hell, that’s just when I admitted it. I was gone from the first day.”

“Yeah, and what’s Mr. I’ll Forgo My Fortune For The First Fine Piece of Arse To Give Me The Time Of Day Nott going to say about it? Hmm?” Blaise had reached over to twirl the soft curls of Theo’s head as he smiled too sweetly at him.

Theo shoved off Blaise’s hand as he shot back, “Well I suppose you don’t count Mr I’ll Fuck Anything That Moves. I can see why she would be uncomfortable in front of such a slag.”

“What do you mean  _ it doesn’t count _ ? You pillock. Are you on about that “bisexuality is just being greedy" tosh again? If Pansy doesn’t hex your bollocks off, I just might,” Blaise narrowed his eyes at the man across from him dangerously.

Theo resumed his customary position of hands up in supplication, and knees drawn over his soft mid-section. 

“Just a joke! A joke. Albeit, a very poorly thought out, not terribly funny joke. Merlin! Everyone’s so uptight today!” Theo huffed. 

Draco ignored the tussle currently happening in the backseat and reached across to grasp one of Pansy’s hands. “It’s really alright Pans. We figured you would say something when you were ready. Though I lost a galleon because of this daft roadtrip.”

“What?” Pansy asked suspiciously

“Oh, I just bet Blaise that the first time you admitted you were gay, it would be whenever you brought Weaselette over to play snooker.”

Pansy gasped and hit him on the leg again, “Do  _ not _ call her that, prat”

He recoiled and placed a hand protectively over his groin. “You really are  _ very _ violent today.”

“Well, stop calling my girlfriend that awful name and I’ll stop hitting you.”

“Ha!” Theo shouted from the backseat, pausing the verbal sparring he’d been having with Blaise to hold his palm out expectantly at the other man. 

Blaise rolled his eyes and dug in his pocket to place a galleon in his waiting hand.

“To be clear, I knew they were dating, I just didn’t think Pansy would’ve allowed them to label it yet,” Blaise sniffed, crossing his arms and sulking on his side again. Theo sat back, smugly placid the coin in his own pocket. 

Rolling her eyes, Pansy took her hand back. Draco’s uncharacteristic show of affection would  _ not _ make her cry. It  _ wouldn’t _ . 

She reached back down into the heap of stuff under her feet and fished out a fresh pack of sugar quills and the map again. She resumed her project of doodling interesting stops along the route as she tossed the pack of quills into the backseat. 

Draco started flicking through radio stations again and huffed,“Gods, put on some Basement Jaxx or something. Everything on this blasted wireless is rubbish.”

Without looking at him, Pansy smiled and switched out the CD in the console. A thumping beat filled the car and Draco pressed the accelerator. They sped down the empty roads toward the World’s Largest Ball of String. Not Twine.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Songs to look into that remind *me* of friendship and roadtrips:
> 
> Bros - Wolf Alice
> 
> Your Light - The Big Moon
> 
> Northbound - Grace Petrie
> 
> Also, the song they're listening to in the car is "Romeo" by Basement Jaxx. I realize it's about a year off, but eh. Whatever.


End file.
